bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize