are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
