He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it hurts more in the daytime
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
