btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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