I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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