Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
