Im at strip club and am horny
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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