So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
