I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize