I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
