I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
