I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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