Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
