the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
