im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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