Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
