He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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