ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
