fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
