end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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