if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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