shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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