I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
