everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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