He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
