There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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