just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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