a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
