dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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