i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
