Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
