So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
