A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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