And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
