Can Purell be used as lube?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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