why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
