Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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