Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
