this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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