Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
