He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
