I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize