Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize