Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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