Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
only if we run a train.
done.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
