Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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