tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
