After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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