She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
