they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
