This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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