Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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