Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize