Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
