i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
