Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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