I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
