Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize