We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
did i just pee glitter
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
