she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
