Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
