hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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