Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
