So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize