I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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