This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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