Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
