It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize