he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
