I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
