doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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