Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
