If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
