Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
