she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
