If that was your dad, he is hot
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
