Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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